I love the Secret. I know, not very intellectual of me is it? I was raised to question everything, and I mean this kind of thing screams out for questioning!
If I think happy thoughts, I’ll get a Ferrari? Yeah, and I’ve got a bridge to sell you.
Of course it’s not like that. It never is. Life just is not that cut and dried.
This is not a post about “How to get the law of attraction to work for you.” Or “The secret to The Secret”. I mean, is there a secret to the secret of The Secret?
Ok now my brain hurts. No wonder I’m tired all the time.
Honestly, like most things, it’s not The Answer to Life, nor is it complete bull. There are elements of truth to positive thinking.
I say this as someone who has struggled with negative thinking, and coincidentally with depression (NOT!), most of my life.
I was a glass half empty person. (Well, I’m a work in progress, so let’s not say I’m a Pollyanna by any means, but just stay with me here. It’s easier that way.) Depression and negativity are so intertwined, it’s a chicken and the egg kind of thing. But does it matter what comes first? They feed off each other.
This is also not a “this solved my depression” article. Because like most people dealing with it, I’m still working on it. But I think what an underlying factor to it all is resilience – or lack thereof.
Let’s be frank, life is hard. I know, the Law of Attraction people would not approve of me saying that. But I mean, has it been easy for you? Ok then. You gotta put the work in, that’s all I’m saying. So when you get knocked down, you get up again.
Why do I suddenly feel the urge to go back to 1997 and Chumbawumba? Sorry anyone under 25, you won’t get that.
But that’s it really. Personally, I internalized every failure. It beat me down. I felt tired and worn out. I couldn’t think of any other options – no matter what the failure was.
And if you’re alive, you’re going to have failure. It’s part of the deal. Yeah, no one told me that part either.
But like anything, resilience is like a muscle. It gets easier the more you dust yourself off and try again.
It’s all a crapshoot. The person you date. It may work out, it may not. Hell, even the person you marry, because dating and marriage are like two different solar systems.
That awesome job you dreamed about, well it’s nothing like they described in the interview. Why are you doing the same work as an intern?
But it’s not a life sentence. None of that is. Divorce is horrible, but at least you are not put in a marriage prison. Even if you are morally opposed to it, you can undo a horrible situation.
That’s the thing. We all get do-overs. That person that screwed you over? Yeah I agree with you, they should be confined to a special room in hell. But that’s not your problem what happens to them. Your problem is what happens to YOU.
Because I can tell you, they stopped thinking about you a loooong time ago. I suggest you follow suit.
I know, this is not easy stuff. But who ever said anything was easy? Hell, getting out of bed is hard for me. So is sleeping. These are supposed to be second nature!
But I keep trying. I will find that one supplement that helps me sleep through the night. I will find that meditation that calms my mind. I’ve already made progress on these things.
It’s all trial and error. How else are you going to find out what works for you? Unfortunately, that well-trained voice in your head is lazy and tired. And depressed. He or she stopped trying.
He or she is not you.
Say what you want about Caitlyn Jenner, but her quote about feeling suicidal applies here. She said “I want to see how this story ends.” So keep trying, you might be surprised about how your own story turns out.