Be Your Own Best Friend

It’s been a crazy couple of weeks in the news. A man wanting to be a woman, a white woman wanting to be black.

I’m not going to defend or go into the particular nuances of either of these – I think they have been covered enough by the Twitterverse and CNN. But it brought to mind a truly core issue for every human being: self acceptance.

It’s amazing – or maybe not – but this issue colors everything in your life. And I mean EVERYTHING.

It determines how you treat others for a start. Imagine this – you don’t like yourself or the decisions you’ve made. Therefore, you probably don’t like your life very much. You may lash out and blame other people because you’re so angry.

Because at the end of the day, if you hate yourself, you hate everyone.

You don’t have the capacity to really care about anyone else’s problems. Your self-hatred makes you incapable of doing anything for yourself. Because on some level you don’t think you deserve it.


Just think about that one for a minute. The cycle will just continue. You won’t take any steps toward a more meaningful life. You wouldn’t help out someone else you didn’t like, so certainly you won’t do it for you.

Meanwhile, you become more bitter. Blaming everyone else. Being angry. Being depressed.

It may seem like a never ending cycle, but it doesn’t have to be.

You probably treat yourself worse than you would another person you know. Think about it. If your best friend screws up you’re *probably* not going to end the friendship over it. This obviously depends on the situation.

But consider a pet. The pet screws up, but you forgive them because you love them.

That’s what we have to start doing for ourselves. Forgive ourselves. For all the past decisions gone bad. They were the best decisions you could make at the time with the information that you had at that time.

Show yourself a little compassion for the mistakes you’ve made. The beauty of a new day is that it’s a clean slate.

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Finley the Flute

June 2015
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