Why do I feel bad? 

We often look to others to make ourselves feel better after a trauma or bad day. But I was recently told that only WE can change how we feel.

Wow that was NOT what I wanted to hear! But I had been disappointed lately when turning to several people hoping they could make my misery go away. Ugh, personal responsibility yet again. Don’t you hate that?

I mean sometimes a person will say just what I need to hear to soothe me. But it’s dangerous to rely on what might come out of someone’s mouth to improve your mental state. It can actually make you feel worse. Believe me I know!

So ask yourself, why can’t I make myself feel better? More importantly, why do I feel bad in the first place?

It’s so basic, but it’s much easier just to say “I’m depressed.”

Hell that’s what I’ve done and still do. I mean, it’s kind of a cop out. And that’s coming from someone who’s done it for 20 years. And who can’t stand to be wrong. Hey, I can admit it.

So ok, start asking questions.

Like, do I need more sleep? Yes.

Do I need to find more things I enjoy? Yes.

Do I need to find more positive, like-minded people? Yes. ok now we’re getting somewhere.

I tend to catastrophize everything. But the truth is, I don’t know all possibilities. I’m not God. But I do have control over my own thoughts. So I do have some power there. I’ve heard it said that depression is rooted in a feeling of a loss of control. The feeling that nothing really matters, and nothing you do will change anything.

If you’ve ever experienced depression, perhaps you can relate to the thoughts of futility. Like, why bother?
But that’s the easy way out, isn’t it? Because no one said it was going to be easy to pull yourself out of your own mind. Unfortunately, it requires a daily reminder that, no I’m not going there in my thoughts today, thanks.

But there should be some hope in there too. That we all do have power to take control, we just have to make the decision to put in the work and do it.

Categories : Uncategorized


Finley the Flute

March 2015
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